I have to stay pregnant which I was unable to do the first time around. Maybe it was the NoroVirus I got the day after I took the test. Or maybe my genetics spewed out a unicorn horn and the Hubs genetics were all NO MA'AM. Which - honestly Hub genetics - we would have been MILLIONAIRES.
Regardless, I am 9 weeks 6 days pregnant. The ultrasound last week showed a floppy fish that jumped around to say hi and a heartbeat. At least the doctor said "Look! There's a strong heartbeat!" and the Hubs refused to move his hand so I could see it. Let's go with believing the doctor and the flippered jumping bean I saw.
A few things:
1) I do not have morning sickness and I welcome everyone to hate me.
2) My boobs have grown to torpedo-size and I must wear a bra at every moment. In a related note, showering hurts.
3) Pooping is now waaaaay in the past. Bloating to six month pregnant size happens at least twice a week hence derailing the "eating for two" plan so many expectos tout.
4) I will fall asleep at ANY GIVEN MOMENT. Do not leave me alone for longer than 45 seconds with a flat surface nearby. Lucky for you I will be up to pee in roughly 10 min.
5) Peeing. Every 10 min. So fun at 3:30AM!
All those things? Even if the first in the list did not apply would not, for a moment, make me wish myself unpregnant. The Hubs and I have been trying for about a year and since I have a endometriosis-encrusted ovary, each month was a crap shoot. The first time it happened the dates didn't line up and nothing felt well, real, so unicorn horn or no, it wasn't meant to happen. But this time? It feels real. All floppy and wavy and non-poopin - it feels right. Yeah that makes no sense but I really don't care.
Answers to Questions People Always Have:
- We will not find out the sex. Yes I am type A. Yes I am a planner. But I am planning on having a BABY; if it's an elephant we have larger problems than the color of the nursery or a monogram.
- No you will not hear our name options. People LOVE to give an opinion and I don't give a shit. You can wait to insult my kid's name when the Biscuit is born and I am vulnerable and manic. Good luck with that!
Things I hate right now...
- "You should..." best never leave your mouth unless I specifically ask... "What should I do?"
- I am almost 35 and this is my first baby. This means I am of "advanced maternal age" and I have to worry about 1.7 billion genetic/chromosomal/old ass mother diseases my baby can develop. Anxiety runs in my family and I kindly request all heart-breaking stories to be filtered through this lens.
