A Most Disconcerting Event

Before anyone loses it: 

1) I am fine

2) Raptor is fine

In fact, we're all doing peachy. RaptorDad begins a new job today - one that will challenge him AND give him three weeks paternity leave! Woo Hoo for amazing insurance and benefits! 

Friday, on my way to the job I have slowly grown to loathe, a very nice man rear-ended me. Stop. Wait. Please see above.

Everyone calm now? Great. He drives an Acura Sedan and I drive a Honda Pilot. The sedan plead no contest and racked up ~$5K in damages. The Pilot brushed off its shoulders gangsta style and soldiered on. No airbag went off. The seatbelt was on and really he took one look at 8 mos of Raptor growth and most likely shit his pants. 

However, my darling husband came running the moment I texted and urged me to call the doctor. Raptor spent a good part of the morning using my ribs/lungs as a punching bag - evidently unscathed - however I acquiesced. 

I left a message on my way to purgatory; the nurse immediately called back and all but ordered my ass into the doctors office. They ushered me in right away (when does that happen?!) and strapped me to a monitor. Guys this is not how I wanted to spend my Friday. After 25 min of marking Raptor movements and general roundhouses to my kidneys, the doc was all get thee to L&D! Because any sort of "trauma" requires at least FOUR HOURS OF MONITORING. That's right. Hospital gown, hospital bed, nurses, IVs - ALL THE THINGS. 

Then came a cervical exam - those are decidedly not fun. Unfun. Completely devoid of all enjoyment/comfort. And then the medical powers-that-be decided I should have an ultrasound! Joy! Rapture! We get to see the Raptor. And right then and there I knew ... our surprise was about to be ruined. Because even though I told the tech we didn't know the gender and didn't want to know the gender, some small part of my brain just knew she was going to spill it. Look, the Raptor is running out of room and the tech was doing her job checking for any placental ruptures, fluid leaking, anatomy, etc. Never mind the Raptor spent 20 minutes practicing a cross-jab on the heart monitor or that three nurses spent the better part of the afternoon staring at my vag chasing the little shit around trying to get an accurate heartbeat reading, we had to have an ultrasound. So while telling us that the Raptor had hiccups, the fluid and placenta looked fine she moseyed over to the naughty bits and RaptorDad saw. He saw and knew. Thankfully I wasn't paying attention and then she said it, " Baby ____ is doing just fine." I turned slowly and just looked at her, more bewildered than angry and quietly said, "You just told us what we were having." Poor woman felt so bad, apologized profusely and swore she had never done that before. Nothing like being the first! Alright RaptorReaders - do you want to know? Not want to know? I am giving you the choice since apparently ours was taken from us!!! (Oh the melodrama!)