This morning I woke up at 6:15 with knot in my shoulder and a pulsing headache behind my left eye. Then immediately shoved about 4 handfuls of oyster crackers into my face, peed, drank a half-gallon of water and declared myself awake - AT SIX FIFTEEN ON A SATURDAY.
On my way to a delightful brunch with Dills, her adorable sons and a giant plate of monkey bread I must have yelled at no fewer than five idiot drivers about their lack of turn signal. All, I don't understand why it's so hard to just let people know that you have an intention to turn. You literally don't have to LIFT A FINGER. It's a flick - a single flick of your finger and you can make my murderous rage disappear. And really, it's all about my murderous rage.
Also please note: I stopped this post to take a nap. And not a disco nap - a full out sweaty drooling nap that really should be continued in my bed until tomorrow morning.
Do you see where I am headed? Before that nap I had dinner at 6PM because after a trip to the mall where I bought nothing like a grown-up, I was ravenous. The Hubs turned on Palladia to some outdoor music festival while I folded laundry (have you started yawning yet?). Here's what I said:
- I used to think those are so fun; now it just crowds of stinky, hot people with smokers breath.
- This music is TERRIBLE.
I immediately turned on HGTV while the Hubs mocked me for shaking my cane at the young'uns.
At least it's OK for me to mock those idiots that totally choose the wrong house.
ETA: I wasn't going to mention the other 5 things that proved I got old but then completely forgot by the time I got to writing this post. Mostly because the fact that I FORGOT THEM IN 2 HOURS just proves my point. NOW GET AWAY FROM MY AZALEAS.
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