You know what sucks?

Trying to write about something personally confusing. And that's what I am doing right now. Or at least trying to. But not really because instead I am posting this which is really just a bunch of words on a page. Let's talk about pregnant stuff because that's not personal or confusing right? Right? 

If I tell one more person I pooped today the local new station is going to show up at my door and do a feature. Or the Internet police will come to my door and be all, Ma'am no one cares that you pooped. And they would totally call me ma'am because this is the week of ma'aming me to death. "Can I get you anything else, ma'am?" "How can I help you ma'am?" DON'T YOU MA'AM AT ME. I am young! I am filled with snark! I am not ma'am worthy. Just because I am in bed before 10:30P and can't sleep past 8AM - hmph. Your face is a ma'am. 

Now before I took the tangent train to Ma'amville (and don't think there aren't going to be any more stops there), my rambling was heading towards why the Hubs and I refuse to make this whole making-a-person-thing "Facebook Official" or rather FBO. 
(Yes, someone I know called it FBO. I can't; I won't; I refuse.) And while I am sure those who have asked shrug-off my reasoning as pregnant craziness, but Hubs and I agreed on this one. 

Reason's we are not announcing on the Book of Face: 

1.  Facebook is for amusement and general nosiness; I really just want people to think I am funny, not breeding. 
2. I have 360 "friends" on Facebook. I talk to approximately 1/4 in real friend life. If I talk to you in real friend life you know I am pregnant. You're welcome. If you found my blog, you don't know who I am and you know I am pregnant! You're welcome too. 
3. When I was trying to get pregnant, every pregnancy announcement on Facebook made me want to stick hot pokers in my eyes and immediately released horrible person MiT. I never want to unknowingly have people feel that way and yes I know,  I don't "make" people feel a certain way but still, I've felt that and don't want to make others feel that way indirectly. 
4. It's no one's business what's happening in my uterus. I write because what's happening to me isn't unique to the world but it's unique to me. And because some of this is funny/weird/amazing. Plus I like writing - this gives me something to write about rather than all things on Pinterest that I am never going to do or how blah my life is. This is more fun because I talk about poop at least once a post. 

Ma'am - that's some fucking bullshit.